christmas is coming!

"you better not cry! i tell you why, Santa clause is coming to town!"


he came to your house through your chimney! at the middle of night.

he is a thief i guess!! HAHAHAHAAAA

"you better cry! i tell you why, Santa clause is a thief!!!"



letter to God

dear God

lately, i just find myself not like usual
i just spent my whole time in front of my computer

oh, God, i just don't know how to get up
how to be a great man
i cant face out my broken life's

you always gave me a chance
but i deny it

God, tell me, where do i have to start my life, my broken life
i want to have a bright day again!
i just want to see morning sun rise up on me

but i cant!!!
i just do my stupid mistakes over and over again
oh!!! i don't know what happened to me!

i know what i have to do!
but i do nothing!

i just a man, who have thousand of spirits
but none of action!

oh!!! get up nera!!!
you know that you can do it all!!!
your career, your study, your life, your everything!!!
you cant do it!!!

God, just give me more chance,
i will try my best!!!
show me Your might, reached me, to trough my life.
i just want to have a better life.

im sorry God
i often forget about You
but i know for sure,
that You never and will never forget me
You always want me to get close to You

i know that You will fix up my life
thanks God for being my inspiration
i will try my best, not for my own selfish
but for You
i wont embarrassing You
i want You to be proud of me, as Your child.

thanks God



im here!
why did you forget me?
i was waiting for you!!!

you said that you didn't look me!
why did you have to ensure that im there?
it was OBVIOUS that im waiting for you!!!
but why did you forget me?


how many times you make me wait for you?
please, appreciate me!
i wait for you, and i hope that you come for me!

you don't know how its feel
and im so disappointed to you

T_T hiks hiks



change of the mood

you are not in a good mood!!!

okay! so you can treat me bad!

listen to you even i don't like it!!!

you don't care of me!!! but i have to care about you!!!

i have to do what you want to do! okay!!!

if i don't! so fuck me!!! ya ya ya!!!

kringgggg kringgggg

the phone is ringing


oh, now you are in a good mood




how can you change so fast?

you were like evil when you are not in a good mood

so, contact me if you are in a good mood




walk beside me

Dont walk in front of me

i may not be your follower

Dont walk behind me

i may can not lead you

but walk beside me

and be my love forever



anger note

how long do we have to wait?
how many times you said to us, that we will get it soon?
if you wont take us to be yours

just say NO!

don't make us hoping to you!
today, the more you make a word,
the more we don't trust you!

look at us!

we can do better!
we don't need a nice word that come from your mouth!
you tell us much lie!

you thing that you are everything for us!
but no! you are nothing for us!
if you keep saying words, that you can responsible for it!

now look at us!

today we are nothing,
but someday we will be something!

we believe that this is only the matter of time!

when the time come for us
there's nothing can stop us!

God haven't finish His work for us
and we haven't stop praying and hope to Him
we will see

good night and thanks
for all managements, investors, and all the peoples who make us stronger day by day
we hope that you read this note!


9 lifes

sometime, somewhere
there is a man, a poor man, who have nothing in his live
everyday he keep on thinking, how to get rich!!!
but there's nothing he can do.

suddenly a cat appear in front of him
he have an idea,
"a cat have 9 lives, what if i put the cat soul in to my body"
he catch the cat and kill it!!!
he eat the heart of the cat
with bloody face, he walk to the street

he run, and try to crash his body to a car!
a car crash him, he die in a moment,
an ambulance come to the accident place, and bring his dead body to the morgue

"oh its very dark in here, uh, my body, what happened to me?"
he get up, and realize that he rise up from dead!
he run away from the morgue in the hospital,
and once more, he find an idea,
"yeah i can make a lot of money!!!"
"i can make a show, a very big show!!!"

he try to find a near circus show in town.
he walk fo a miles!
and find circus place.
he search for the circus boss.
and speak to the boss!!!

undead man: "hey, i can give you a very amazing show!!!"

boss : "what is that?"

undead man : "i cannot die!, let everyone shot me in a time!"

boss : "thats impossible, how if you die? i wont take a responsibility of your dead body"

undead man : "okay, let me show you tommorow, make a big poster for my show!!

let everyone pay for expensive price!"

boss : "okay, ill take care of it, but remember, if you dead, i wont care okay!"

next day, the first show for him
everyone have wait for the show!!!
the place is so crowd!,
he show up in the middle of the stage
and shout loud!!!

"hey everybody!!! let me introduce to you all, IM A UNDEAD MAN!!!"

"prepare yourself to see me! shoot by so many gun"


and the show begin
he shot by guns, hundreds bullet through his body
his blood is dripping
and his body fall to the floor

everyone s in that place staring at him, and make no sounds
there's no sign of life from him
he gets up and shout


everyone s at that place are so fascinated!!!
from the 1st show
he became so popular and so rich!!!
he still have 7 lives
1st life he spent when he try to crash his body to the car
2nd life he spent in the 1st show!

he have a plan that, he just want to spend 6 more life, and after that, he wont
to make a show anymore. he want to live normally
another show is showing
the undead man getting more rich and famous
and the last show is coming

he just have 2 life left
this is the 7th show for him
the last show for him is getting started
the circus place is very crowded!!!
the gun have prepared, to shot the undead man!!!
the undead man still introduce his self to the spectator

and its time to the show

after he introduce his self he shout the last word!!!


suddenly, he remember!!!
that this is his LAST LIFE!!!
the undead man forget to count
for the very first time when he killed the cat!!!
he have take 1 of the cats life,
and now its the 7th show for him!!!
it means that he have no more life

1 life for crashed by the car

1 life for cat that he killed

6 life for overall show

and now its the 7th show for him!!!


hundreds bullet through his body
the undead man fall to the floor
everyone s make no sound
waiting for the undead man to get up
now the undead man is already dead!!!
and he cant live anymore!!!


this story just an illustration for us

"we have so many opportunity in our life

so don't waste it for useless thing

we never know, when our opportunity ends"



drummer poem

life's difficult, so i roll my drums easier

life's short, so i play my drums longer

life's hard, so i hit my drums harder

but life is so fine when i play my drums



hey do you remember?

9 months ago

we haven't known each other

we just a couple of friends, that meet unfortunately

in my room, together we share our happiness

somehow, there was a barking sound from below

wew, it must be a puppy hahaa

4 months is not a long time for 2 people in love

i knew you want to leave soon

you knew that you have to leave me

why do i have to met you?

just right a couple of month before you went away

why don't we met, when we still in a high school? we were at the same school!

hahaa do you remember when i said "i love you" for the first time?

hahaa, it just the same like now! my English is still not good! hahahahaaaaaa

hahaa, its okay, that's why i use English for my blog, (i wont stop learning)

it sounds crazy for me, we haven't met for 5 month since you went to German

how long you will stay there? hahahaa (you cant answer it for sure!)

Ive told you before, that you will stay for a long time there hehee

hmmm okay, tonight i just want to remind you

that we've been through all of these situation

its hard for us, but i know for sure that we could through this LDR! hahaha

vaskuuuu happy 9 month anniversary yaaaaa

i cant give you something for now

just pray the best for you there, and also for us hehehee

okay love you, hope you read this!



i will stay here, just for you

i will stay here, just for you

no matter how long
no matter how hard

i will stay here, just for you

not for a day
not for a week

i will stay here, just for you

lock my heart
my lonely heart

for you
i can wait forever
even that waiting is the most stupid things that everyone do!
but who knows for tomorrow?

no one can predict for it

wait? yes, i will wait for you

i will stay here, just for you

love is not my reason
i can bury my passion

so why do i wait for you?

because i believe that God sent you for me

to change my life

thanks God
you sent her to me

my lovely one
my precious one


i will stay here, just for you


rear view mirror & friends

rear view mirror just like a friends

they share their problems

so you can see backward and remind you

"don't you make a mistake that has happened to me "

(inspired from harker rolland, the lost guy, hahaa)

dream, reality & God

yeah, who havent had a dream?
no one

its so nice to dream your life away,

be a rockstar
have a nice wife
around the world every month, even everyday! hahaha
be a rich guy
have a cross tatto in your left hand (without afraid you wont get job)
alphard in your garage

hahahaa that are dreams!

reality? these are reality

my name is nereus ruud abiyoga
i like to call my self nera
but you can call me ruud or abie,
im 21 years old
im jobless
i never go to campus
i do nothing all day, just hang out with friends
i have 1 sister 1 father 1 mother and 1 litlle brother ryu (he is a dog) hehehe
i have a yellow drums kit hahaha its special for me!
and i just a musician, who just start to get all my dreams

im not so stupid, but, im so lazyy, very very lazy
i dont like to do something that i dont like to! hahhaa i guest you just same to me!

but back to dream hahaha
im a dreamer, a very good dreamer!
i have a bright future
im a rockstar
i have an alphard in my garage!
i already around the world everyday
i have the most beautiful wife in the world
im a rice man!!

but thats all just my dream..

how do i reach my dreams?, if in my reality i dont do anything to get those!

music? hmmm i still hope that music can bring me to get my dreams for now

but music, or working hard in office (manager, owner, something like that i dont know, you name it!)

its all useless

if God dont give us a chance
we are nothing!

for now, i just try to do my best!
let God do the rest

God know the best way for us
He can give us everything in a second
if we really rely our life to Him.

we can dream our life away, and we can get our dream come true
nothing shall be impossible if we trust



December note

December, the last month of the year
some country have winter, but not in my country.
december just like another month,
celebration of christmast just in the curch,
snow just on TV! santa is a clown!!!
nothing special
but for me december is the most important month from all of month in a year.

just check for this

january : 1st month of the year, everyone make a new target for next 1 year

february : love month, nothing special, i have no girlfriend for a couple year

march : ordinary month!!

april : can you take me to some place? im getting bored here!!

may : my birthday, hufhhhh im getting old!

juny : holliday for student, but not for me, every day is a holliday for me

july : "Fu*k!!! the holliday is over, can i get fu*king more? (i never said so)

august : independent day for indonesia country, not for indonesian people

september : OH MY GOD!!! its already september!

oktober : "i just have Rp.20.000,- grrrrrrr"

november : yeaaahhh prepare for the chrismast n new year!! hahaa

december : oh my god!!! what have i done for whole year!!! i did nothing!!!







and the story goes to,
hahahaha the top of this note!!!
read this note again and again,

and you will know that this note is just same to you, to everyone!!!

how stupid are we?

and we still do the same thing!!!

this is december! the most important month in my life!

this is december! the last month of the year!

this is december! this is december! this is december!

the month that realize us of : "TIME PASS AWAY SO FAST"

wrote on December,



the day that you went away

it was so sad to see you went away, we were together, and now we are separated
some day, we will meet again, and i hope that you still be my love one.


LDR (Long Distance Relationship)

banyak orang menganggap LDR itu sulit ya. banyak yang bilang LDR itu:
-buang waktu
-buang uang
-buang tenaga

*buang waktu
banyak orang beranggapan, jika waktunya akan sia sia
bertahun tahun bertahan dengan pasangan yang jauh, toh di dekat dekat kita masih ada orang yang bisa gue jadiin pasangan hidup, apa iya nanti dia akan kembali, dan bakalan bersama kita lagi.

*buang uang
hmmm uang? ya emank semua orang dari kaya sampe miskin masalahnya cuma uang!!!
buang pulsa, pulsa beli pake uang, bayar internet, mank pake daon bayarnya!!! apa campur akar juga? hahaha

*buang tenaga
normalnya manusia tidur jam 10 malam ya, waktu sekitar, tapi karena LDR
waktu tidur bisa ngaretttt, sampe 4 atau bahkan 8 jam!!! makan tuh tenaga lo buat chating n web cam an!!!

itu menurut beberapa orang yang gue baca dari status teman gue yang kebetulan tinggal di luar negri, hehehe

tapi menurut gue sendiri sih

*buang waktu?
gak juga, waktu gue tetap segini, 24 jam. gak lebih gak kurang
puji tuhan kalo nanti pasangan gue bisa kembali lagi sama gue,
kalo ngak setidaknya gue udah bisa belajar, untuk menjaga hubungan.
kalo masalah ada orang yang bisa gue pacarin di sini itu beda urusan.
gue bukan tipe orang yang harus ada pacar.
mungkin dengan LDR ini, karier gue bisa fokus, n kuliah gue bisa beres, ye gaks hhahaha

*buang uang?
gak kalo buat gue, gak usah lah sering sering sms, atau telepon
jaman sekarang ada internet cuy!!!
memank kita gak bakal bisa dapet lagi intensitas yang dulu kita temukan sama pasangan kita,
tapi inti dari pacaran itu kan komunikasi,
banyak cara komunikasi, satu hal yang harus orang mengerti itu ya....
gak selalu harus sms or telepon, kalo itu emank iya buang uang.
setidaknya pasangan kita yang jauh dimata ituuuu, tau keadaan kita, kemajuan kita, kemunduran kita, dan sebaliknya begitu pula dengan mereka.
walau hanya sekedar kasih surat di facebook bilang
"say(atau apa lah sebutan pacaran kalian), aku mau manggung dulu neh, dll"
itu udah sedikit dari banyak cara mempertahankan LDR
jadi kalo lo mempermasalahkan uang, ya salah besar gan!!!
kalo mau ketik gitu kan kita tinggal ke warnet(bagi yang di rumahnya gak ada jaringan internet)
bayar deh, paling gak sampe seribu rupiah, hehehehe

*buang tenanga?
kalo ini memank benar keberadaannya, kita harus rela mengorbankan waktu tidur kita, misalnya aja ya, jakarta dan jerman
perbedaan waktunya 5,5 jam, dan terkadang 6 jam...
tapi kalo kita bisa memberi pengertian ke pasangan kita, itu akan sangat bijaksana, dan alangkah sangat sangat bijaksana lagi, jika pasangan kita mau mengerti keadaannya. mungkin untuk 1 bulan pertama kita harus rela relain ya, untuk hal ini, karena memang kita harus mencari pola baru dalam hubungan ini, dari yang awal waktunya sama, sampe waktunya berbeda. di negara berbeda pula. hehehee

hmmm intinya adalaaahhhhh:
jadi pintar pintar kita aja mengelola waktu, mengelola tenaga, mengelola pengeluaran, dan mengelola LDR ini.
jangan jadikan LDR menjadi suatu beban dalam diri kita.
tapi jadikan LDR itu sebagai sesuatu hal yang baru dalam diri kita.
gak semua orang dapat kesempatan untuk bisa menjalankan LDR
dan gak semua orang yang LDR akan berakir bahagia juga.

tapi, kita harus punya semangat, yang memacu diri kita,
bukan kita yang mendekati GOAL dalam hidup,
dan juga bukan GOAL yang mendekati kita.

semua bertemu di tengah, GOAL hidup mendekati kita, dan kita mendekati GOAL kehidupan.
fokus pada hasil akir, proses pun akan kita jalani dengan baik, dan hasil akir itu pun akan mendekati kita.

jadi, bagi yang LDR neh!! hehehehe,
dont listen to them, what do they know?
both of you need each other

good luck for your LDR,



huhfffhhh cape deh, tiap hari bangun jam 2 siang, atau jam 3 siang,
mau ngapain gue, kuliah kagak, ngeband gak tiap hari.

padahal gue kira gue bakal ngeband terus ya, grrrrrrrrr
mana sih nih para investor n label label yang udah pada janji ini itu, ngomong doang lah mereka!!!
emank gak gampang ye jadi anak band,
makan tuh omongan orang tua kalo ngeband doang semua orang juga bisa!
emank sih bisa!!! tapi sampe mana tuh ngeband!!! kalo cuma di studio semua orang juga bisa!!!

tapi sampe industri musik pada bisa gak?
pada bisa tenar gak?
grrrrrrr susaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!

gue sampe di suruh mijitin orang gara gara udah di cariin investor!
duh kayak gak ada harga diri aja gue ye!

ini baru gue yang suruh mijitin orang,
gimana yang udah pada tenar ya? wah gue rasa udah pada mengorbankan harga dirinya tuh! ahahaha pada di pake pake in lah sama producer! hahahaha

duh bingung, sampe kapan gue luntang lantung begini,
cape cuyyy!!!

tapi gue yakin kalo suatu hari nanti band gue bakal terkenal, memank sepertinya muluk muluk,
tapi ngak menurut gue, semua pasti bisa, Tuhan yesus pasti bantu gue. amin!!!



hehehe, vasku, maaf ya, lo pasti taunya gue dah tidur ya? hahaha

padahal gue masih otak atik blog baru gue, hehehe

inget gak dulu gue pernah buat blog, di multiply?

isinya elvaaaaa semua, hahahaaaa

tapi lo gak tau.

pasti pas lo tau seneng tuh va, hahaha

hahaha dan nanti pas lo baca postingan gue ini lo juga seneng, hahahaha

oke va, sekarang gue beneran tidur kok, dah jam 4.53 wib

di jerman enak masih jam 11an malem ya.

hehehe oke

see you soon in the real world. love you.

welcome to blogspot.com

3.03 wib, wow, sudah pagi ya, berhubung gue belom bisa tidur, nyalain komputer aja deh.
gue buka facebook, lalu, liat home, ada postingan dari temen saya Bunga istyani, bukan temen deket sih, tapi dia temennya elva. dia abis bikin postingan tentang rokok, hehehe kok gue jadi tertarik ya buat blog lagi, setelah blog gue yang dulu (sebut saja multiply) udah gak gue utak atik lagi sekarang gatel lagi niat gue untuk membuat tulisan tulisan gak penting, hehehe...

duh anjing gue muntah cuy!!! kesian (penting ye?) hahaha

hoby gue bukan nulis, baca pun gak bakal pernah mau!
walau kata orang baca itu penting, yah, mungkin belom kali ya.
tapi, kadang gue mau cerita panjang dan lebar tentang hidup gue.
ya, untung ada blog, jadi bisa cerita cerita deh.

kadang gue liat blog orang, wow, isinya bagus bagus banget.

tapi di blog gue, kalian gak bakal melihat yang isinya bagus bagus, hahahaha

oke kalo begitu, mungkin hari ini, mungin nanti, gue bakal posting terus di blog ini.

selamat membaca, selamat berteman.

NeRA (Nereus Ruud Abiyoga)